EI: It’s Life Changing

It all began with my family of origin. We suffered from unregulated and suppressed emotions (low emotional intelligence) and consequently, poor communication skills. Sadly, for many of my family members this lead to addiction, depression, and, for my brother despair so strong he took his life. We were estranged from one family member for over 15 years. Other family members were physically there but mentally and emotionally unavailable. Like so many families, we were trapped in the legacy of dysfunction that was at least 5 generations deep.

While I’ve never struggled with addiction, the legacy of dysfunction didn’t elude me - I found myself in many unhealthy, even dangerous, relationships. Over a decade ago the fear of staying in an almost 20 year marriage became scarier than the inevitable divorce I dodged for many, many years. You might be wondering why I’m writing about divorce when Tailwinds is about connection. Divorce is not only a life-altering part of my story, it’s a testament to how a commitment to personal growth and development - a commitment to yourself - can change the trajectory of your life, and the lives of those you love. Sometimes disconnecting, whether permanently or temporarily, is the safest and healthiest thing to do. In doing so other connections become stronger and healthier, including the relationship with yourself, and multi-generational problems can change.

For me, developing my emotional intelligence (EI) changed my life and, I believe it changed my children’s lives as well because I became a more effective person. EI isn’t a soft skill, it’s an essential skill - it’s a skill for life. I truly believe that if my family of origin had developed their EI they, too, would have ultimately lived rich, fulfilling, joy-filled lives.

Posted by: Valerie (Adapted from drval.me )